Charisma Articles
The Art of Listening
They say everyone has a story to tell. Nevertheless, not everyone may be agreeable to listen. Occasionally, we are amazed - in an unpleasant way - over the fact that we have not been paying attention to the one speaking to us. At some point along the recounting, our mind has wandered off, and we only drift back to reality when abruptly asked, "Are you still listening'"
That is most unfortunate, considering next to our visual skills, our capacity to listen allows us to reap various benefits. If we listen to our mentor as he shares with us useful thoughts on life, we become good apprentices. If we listen to our professor as he lectures about the day's lesson, we become good students. If we listen to our employer as he explains the rationale of the company's new policy, we become good employees. If we listen to our parents as they counsel us concerning career choices, we become good sons/daughters . If we listen to a friend in dire need of unloading his troubles, we become good friends.
In short, listening is indispensable in developing good human relationships. To expand our listening capacity, here are a few tips.
1. Focus. That is but a single word, but its message conveys far more. Being focused means paying attention, and a lot of it at that. It means temporarily forgetting about other matters of consequence and lending a few minutes of your time to hear someone speak his mind out. It means giving interest to whatever it is that the speaker might want to say. It is taking his words seriously into consideration in whatever decision we are to make. It is placing his narrative in the framework of his emotions, and trying to understand him within the events occurring in his life.
2. Watch out for non-verbal cues. The message need not always lie on the words, but also in movements that the speaker makes. If we also pay good attention to the speaker's eyes, facial expressions, and gestures, we will be able to receive the message in whole. Additionally, if the speaker realizes that we are honestly listening, we are boosting his confidence.
3. Be sensitive. A good amount of sensitivity is also required to maintain enthusiasm in the part of the person speaking. If the person is at the peak of his emotions, do not interrupt. After all, if someone is exceedingly angry or unhappy, it will be a form of catharsis to remain patient until he has calmed down. Unless the person is already causing bodily harm, it will do him well to let him be purged of his bad feelings.
4. Show unconditional openness. We may not always agree with what someone has to say, but being there to listen may be the least we can offer. While we may have dissimilar opinions about several issues, keeping our horizons wide is a healthy attitude. With these perspectives in listening, we become open to a world of unlimited wisdom and diverse experiences.